Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Who Will Love Me As I Am?

It was 1998 and I was ending my junior year of high school. I have to admit, there was very little that ever got me excited about being in the halls of Manchester, but this time, I was.

You see, ever since I was that wide eyed little girl sitting on the cold floor of my elementary’s cafeteria, I had been enamored with the “cool” show choir kids performing Broadway tunes on our stage. I have always been a dreamer and I dreamt that that one day I too would be singing and dancing with them, even if it meant wearing a big sparkly twirly dress and the possibility of having bows in my hair.

To this day, I am not sure how I mustered up the courage to try out, and I regret that it took me three years to do so, but me and my mediocre talent somehow made the cut. I would spend my senior year not only having a blast singing and dancing, and making life long friendships, but I would develop a deep love for music and for the preforming arts.

High school, for most, is an awkward time of self discovery, and I, unfortunately, did not escape that boat. I was a quiet girl, one who never quite fit in, one who was shy and who trusted very few. Ms. Tyndall’s class provided an escape through music that I will forever be thankful for.

In our competition show, we sang the ballad from the Broadway Musical Side Show. A musical based on the true story of Daisy and Violet, conjoined twins who spent their lives touring and performing as a vaudeville act and their journey of searching for love and acceptance.

I fell in love with the song and everything about this show. I was captivated by their story, and their desires to be “normal.” Throughout the years, I have often popped in this sound track and sang out my little heart at times where I too felt like a freak show. Where I too wondered if I could change the laws of nature. Where I too longed to be normal, and loved and accepted. 

Of course, I had grand plans to go to NYC and to see this musical that mesmerized my heart. But being a poor college student I did not get a chance to make it to the Big Apple before the doors of Side Show closed. 

Two weeks ago, however, as I worked on our itinerary for our wedding week in NYC, I discovered that the show had been reopened. 

How fitting!

The night before I make a promise of forever, I will be sitting in the St. James Theatre in New York City, sharing this musical, who’s words over the years have seeped in to the depths of my struggle, of my self discovery and gave understanding where none could be found. 

I couldn’t be more excited. 

(Click here to listen to Who Will Love Me As I Am)