You can hear everything in cube world . . .well most everything. Walking through the halls you hear bits and pieces of conversations, of stories, of people's lives. It's an interesting place. And one that has started the wheels spinning in my head this morning.
Surgery. Scalpels. Operating Rooms. Physicians. All parts of a conversation I overheard as I waited at the printer for my stack of audits.
As I returned to my desk, to my fabric covered square, those words took me back to the weeks following my Emmaus Walk. In the weeks after, I tried to write and process my encounter with God that weekend. Blog posts about an operating room, about the need to put myself on the table and let the Great Surgeon do what He does best . . . remove the junk and make this sinful, broken creature, whole and full of life again, spewed out. I wrote about the importance of Psalm 46:10, in my life. To be still. And I'm sitting here today, just blown away that the nuggets of truth I am gaining in this season of life, and the nuggets of truth that were revealed to me on my walk are starting to mesh together, revealing a God who pays attention and who reveals Himself in the small moments of everyday life.
Lately I have been examining the importance of studying God's Holy Word in my life. I've been able to relive the moments where He used the words of Matthew and 1 John to pierce my heart and to deepen my understanding of who Jesus is and what it means to live as follower of Christ. I have been able to find a passion for new books that I am reading for the first time, like Hosea. And I have had to sit with the convictions, that the discipline of studying the Bible, is one that I am still learning to do well, one that I can be more intentional about practicing daily.
So how does it all come together? Surgery? Operating rooms? Studying the Bible?
I wondered too . . . and as I sat here, thinking about the operating room, and of all the times in my past where I longed for change, sought His face for healing, prayed for the chains of bondage to be broken, I always found myself back in a place of shame, guilt, and failure. Where lasting change really never stuck, where I was still held captive, and where wounds never found complete healing.
The great Physician had been standing there whispering, "Sit still, Sit still" for quite some time, but I never sat still enough for Him to examine me or identify the problem, and I wasn't ever still enough for Him to operate.
So on my walk, I heard that loud and clear, "Be still and know that I am God."
I can just envision the Holy Spirit standing there, all scrubbed in for surgery ready to go, waiting--waiting to do all the healing and removal of bondage that I wanted to be done. And when I finally sat still enough for Him to begin, I realize that I didn't give Him the tool needed to start the procedure.
His scalpel---the Bible, the Word of God.
Many of us, myself included, never changed because we never got into the Bible. We never studied the God breathed words of His holy book, which left the Holy Spirit without the tool needed to do what needed to be done.
In Jeremiah 17:9 we learn that we all need surgery . . . major surgery. A heart transplant. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure." The condition of our hearts can't be cured unless we get a new heart all together.
And in Ezekiel 36:26 we read of God's promise for that new heart. "I'll give you a new heart, I'll put a new spirit in you. I'll cut out your stone, stubborn heart and replace it with a tender, responsive heart."
I have lived 29 years with that old, deceitful, cold, hard, selfish heart, and it did nothing for me, but take a little bit of my life with each and every beat. Until I learned there was another option, another heart waiting, a donor who had laid down His life, so that I could have the heart needed to sustain the life I was intended to lived. A heart that is warm, and pliable and full of grace and love.
I believe His Word is not only the scalpel that allows the Holy Spirit to exchange our hearts, but it's also the key that teaches us how to use our new heart to its full potential.
Perhaps it's out of the operating room, (The surgery is done, an old dying heart for a new life giving one) and into the physical therapy office for me. Where the time to be still and to dive into His Word will strengthen this new heart, and teach me to live, to serve and to love to its utmost capacity. To have a life that beats the heart beat of Jesus with every breath and step that the rest of my journey holds. And gives me the boldness to share that my God can change ANY heart of stone, and that ANYONE is invited into the operating room and can come out on the other side new and full of an abundant life.
What a mighty God we serve!!!