Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Something Old, Something New, Nothing Blue

The Old:

1.In the midst of finding my old stuff a new home, my senior book, filled with photos, tokens of high school and hand written sentiments from friends, classmates, and staff who filled the halls of Manchester High School, stole way too much time as I sat Indian style in the closet. As I flipped through the pages, a photograph fell from the book. I was in stiches, complete hysteria and my sides soon were sore from laughter as I wonder why in the world my best friend, her boyfriend, my boyfriend and myself ever thought is was a good idea to have portraits of us taken at Sears. Oh, if I were a little bolder I would post that picture . . .but I guaranteed you, it didn't look to far off from this.

(Jon, Jess and Tim you are welcome I did not humiliate you all) For those that curiosity is eating away at you, I have several copies of these photos, that could be yours. . .for the right price, of course.

2. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that place where innocence ran deep. Where the jagged edges of this fallen world had yet to cut and leave scars. Where the magic of Christmas or the tooth fairy still mystified the young mind. Where the days of building back yard club houses and posting "no boys allowed" signs were the only signs of exclusion (and that's only because we all know that boys had cuties).

3. I miss some peeps from the past today. I wish distance didn't strain relationships. I sadly admit, out of sight out of mind, is a saying that I wish didn't hold as much truth. Friendships come easy when you work in the next classroom over five days a week. It's effortless when you gather once a week and discuss the questions of life, faith and finding our fit in this world or meet in a movie theatre Sunday mornings knit together under a common purpose. It's more challenging when distance stretches over state lines, when summer vacations lead to a group's hiatus or your local place of worship changes.

4. Sunday, I dropped my old Bible as I left the building. The cover went one direction while notes flew in the other. The pages are bent and folded in erratic positions. It's not that I haven't taken care of this Bible, but more due to the fact that it's just old and has traveled many many miles along this journey with me. I have plenty of newer Bibles, but somehow none seems to have been able to replace this aged Bible. This Bible, with blue painter's tape attempting to hold the cover on (obviously not an adequate solution due to it flying off as I stated above), the margins completely filled with handwritten notes, and the sticky notes that protrude out has had it's time, and will forever hold memories of enlightenment, of growth, or questioning and of moments I encountered my maker.

5. My hair is telling a tale I was hoping to keep quiet for at least a few more years. The secret? (Arg, lean in close . . .I don't want the whole world to hear.) I . . .I am . . .(deep sigh) I am going gray . . .I am getting old!!!

The New:

1. Since the day I owned a digital camera, I have been pretty lame in my attempts to do anything with the photos I have taken (after the confession of the ridiculously dreadful Sears portraits, I am questioning if this is a bad thing). But lately, I have not only taken the time to print pictures, but to adorn them with beautiful frames and display them around the house. It makes a difference. Constantly, I am reminded of the people I love, of the times we have spent creating memories full of laughter and adventure. Pictures that freeze time just for a simple moment in a world that tries to steal those memories away. I like it. I like it a lot . . . so much so it has flooded into my cubicle world  (without the embellishment of attractive frames, or course). This is just one that daily reminds me to stop and smell the roses.

2. In the recent weeks, it's been a harsh reminder of how many of us have been cut and scarred by this world we call home. I have watch the ones I love pour out their hearts as tears stream down their face as they ask, "then where is my fit in all of this?" We have all heard the stories of guns, and movies, and lost lives as we can't help but question "why?" I have been hurt by words from people who I thought understood me and in my own brokenness have caused hurt by some of my actions. The past few weeks I have seen a new face to this brokenness, and today, I have been thankful for that reminder that in the midst of all of our mess, there is One who isn't offended, isn't surprised, isn't judgmental, and isn't scared by any of it. He is just waiting for us all to bring it to Him, to lay it down and stop hauling it around.

3. Old friends can never be replaced and new friends are hard to make . . . but not impossible. As the physical transition of relocating is winding down, I am excited to exert my energy into community verses boxes and boxes.  And as summer's end is in sight, I cannot wait for the same folks who I have spent 2 years with diving into Matthew and into 1 John to gather again and explore the pages of His word once more.

4. I think it's time to pick up one of those new Bibles off my shelf. You know the ones where the pages still are stuck together, where there is no sign of dog-eared pages and the margins are plentiful. It's time to set aside the old, and pick up the new . . .not forgetting, but embracing what His word has to reveal to me here, where my feet are currently planted and to fill those white margins with colors of new wisdom, of new questions, and of new prayers.

5. I have never been one to really particularly care about my age. I was never the girl with the best skin, so these new creases and wrinkles that have taken residency on my face, bother me not. And the difficult of shedding those extra pounds that usually arrive in hand with getting older? Well that has always been a struggle, so no mourning there. And even though my eye sight has been changing ever so slightly, the fact that since middle school (oh those dreaded pictures) I have needed contacts/glass, I rarely think twice that this is because the number of birthdays I have under my belt continue to increase. But the hair--the vanity of a woman---the one thing of physical beauty that has always smiled on me---going gray. Oye Vey!!! So, other than letting God work on my pride, my other remedy is to cling to this . . . .Proverbs 16:31 "Gray hair is a glorious crown; it is found in the way of righteousness." There you have it, watch out world, I'm gonna sport this glorious crown . . . well . . . .maybe . . .:)

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