Thursday, January 5, 2012

Ministry, Leadership and Doubts

When I started this blog, I was on a journey to discover me . . . the Melissa Cordle that I had somehow lost along the way. A journey to learn about the 'me' I was created to be.  It's bee an amazing journey and have learned so much and have been given more than I expected to find. Not only have I continued  to discover this "new creature," I have found a passion, a purpose, and open doors.

It was evident to me that in being part of a local outreach ministry, God equips the called. I remember the planning of our first Monroe Park day. I think I had sent out more emails in those weeks than I have ever in my entire life. I was looking for answers. What do we do? What do we bring? What works? Will people come? I had listened to a few online sermons of PCC before I ever walked through their doors and will never forget the words of Dennis Green  'Put yourself in a situation where He has to show up' (paraphrased).  And that's where I found myself.  A lot of responses were 'we will help spread the word that you are coming', but no answers to any of my questions. I thought that it would be a major flop, but God showed up. He was there in that park that day doing what He does best--miracles. He built trust, He did some heart transplants and he bonded ties of the most unlikely friends.

This morning in my inbox I had the most encouraging email I think I ever had in my life. Throughout the day I have received multiple texts of encouragement. It's funny because I haven't shared how inadequate I feel in this leadership position. I haven't shared that I feel I'm not doing enough with this ministry, and not speaking into the lives of those who have partnered beside me. But that is what I love about my God. He sees me, He knows me and even when I fail to know what to do with my heavy heart, He still overwhelms me with affirmation and love. 

Being here tonight, in this cold :) and quite house, I could not be more grateful for the reminder of how desperately I need Him and how much He longs for me to walk where He leads. Maybe the doubts creep in when we get a glimpse of the mountain that He is asking us to follow Him to. Perhaps being a leader is learning to push past doubts and continue to walk. Maybe a successful ministry isn't always pictured in a graph up and to the right.  And maybe it's about learning to see the doubts as opportunities where He can show up and receive all the glory. 

Count it all joy!! And that is where I am camping . . .because I know it is in the doubts and in the weakness that He can do amazing works. . .and that is one thing I don't doubt.  HE IS WORKING!!!

3 comments:

  1. HE is most definitely working .. And very visibly showing up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is just what I needed to read before going to sleep. Its amazing and beautiful!! Im dealing with health problems and im trying to keep a good attitide about it, so when I feel so tired of fighting this disease I will think of this and always remember that God is with me and has a plan for all of this. He has always blessed me with so much joy and love but its hard sometimes to not question "why". Thank u for ur touching words.
    Heather Russell Kromer :))

    ReplyDelete
  3. When you realize that you are being called and you:… Know that he has a purpose for you... Know that he has a plan for you... know that he wants you.... Know that he has guided you through so much without us recognizing it. Then he uses us to plant his seeds. A true calling is a powerful feeling. It this knowledge, of his calling us, that we can strengthen and continue to build our faith on. The evil that men do, God will use for good. Not that my sweet niece has ever been evil!

    ReplyDelete