When I started this blog, I was on a journey to discover me . . . the Melissa Cordle that I had somehow lost along the way. A journey to learn about the 'me' I was created to be. It's bee an amazing journey and have learned so much and have been given more than I expected to find. Not only have I continued to discover this "new creature," I have found a passion, a purpose, and open doors.
It was evident to me that in being part of a local outreach ministry, God equips the called. I remember the planning of our first Monroe Park day. I think I had sent out more emails in those weeks than I have ever in my entire life. I was looking for answers. What do we do? What do we bring? What works? Will people come? I had listened to a few online sermons of PCC before I ever walked through their doors and will never forget the words of Dennis Green 'Put yourself in a situation where He has to show up' (paraphrased). And that's where I found myself. A lot of responses were 'we will help spread the word that you are coming', but no answers to any of my questions. I thought that it would be a major flop, but God showed up. He was there in that park that day doing what He does best--miracles. He built trust, He did some heart transplants and he bonded ties of the most unlikely friends.
This morning in my inbox I had the most encouraging email I think I ever had in my life. Throughout the day I have received multiple texts of encouragement. It's funny because I haven't shared how inadequate I feel in this leadership position. I haven't shared that I feel I'm not doing enough with this ministry, and not speaking into the lives of those who have partnered beside me. But that is what I love about my God. He sees me, He knows me and even when I fail to know what to do with my heavy heart, He still overwhelms me with affirmation and love.
Being here tonight, in this cold :) and quite house, I could not be more grateful for the reminder of how desperately I need Him and how much He longs for me to walk where He leads. Maybe the doubts creep in when we get a glimpse of the mountain that He is asking us to follow Him to. Perhaps being a leader is learning to push past doubts and continue to walk. Maybe a successful ministry isn't always pictured in a graph up and to the right. And maybe it's about learning to see the doubts as opportunities where He can show up and receive all the glory.
Count it all joy!! And that is where I am camping . . .because I know it is in the doubts and in the weakness that He can do amazing works. . .and that is one thing I don't doubt. HE IS WORKING!!!