Moving day is almost here. The end of weekends spent packing is in sight. The blinders are on and the focus—get it done! Soon I will reenter a life that has been unfamiliar for 5+ years. A journey I have been venturing towards for almost 8 months now. It’s been a rollercoaster of a ride to say the least, a ride of rediscovering myself, redirecting my life, and refocusing my attention. At times the ride has caused me to throw up my arms and enjoy the freedom of the wind in my hair. Other times, my knuckles have been snowy white, clinching to the safety bar as I close my eyes and scream to get off. But I have yet to ride completely alone. There have been some of the most genuine, amazing and godly friends and family who have willingly climbed on board and buckled in. I will never find the words to express the gratitude I have for their friendship, loyalty and love.
But it’s time.
It’s time to ask them to unbuckle, to step out of the ride just for a moment and let me ride it once, alone, before they hop back on. It’s time for me to unplug a little, to take a mini hiatus, a sabbatical if you will. Now this unplugging will not be from work or from things I have previously committed myself to like small group cook out (holla), community outreach activities, Father’s Day, or graduation lunches, but rather break from all my “spare” time in order to reconnect ,refresh, and redefine my relationship with God.
It’s now a time to clean house inside. It’s time to pack up flawed theology, selfish ambitions, lies, and blemished character. I will be tangibly putting together a new home in Powhatan, but more importantly, making the time for Him to create a new home inside me.
Please don’t misunderstand. Community is something I value to the core of who I am. And for 8 months I have sought wisdom, advice, prayers and truth. But it’s time to step back, and listen to Him, time to let God define what that wisdom and truth looks like in the everyday steps of my life.
Now, the logistics . . . I will NOT be falling off the face of the earth. I will disappear from Facebook , from blogging, and e-mail. And for all my “moms” out there, I will let someone know where I am when I take day and overnight trips. For those who have tentative coffee dates/lunch dates—we’re still on. So, if you don’t see me around—say, until July-ish . . . no worries, I’m not withdrawing but just taking a much need retreat with Him.
James 4:8a “Come near to God and He will come near to you.”