Sunday, November 21, 2010

Random Thoughts

Aimless Routine by Katy Kinard


I'd prefer they were dead, all the thoughts in my head . . .shove em down, shove em down. Been a month since I read any words that You said. I feel crowded and burned out. I'll take a cup of apathy, drink it with my dull routine. Surely it's not good for me

Ignoring you just to believe. Ignoring you so I can breathe. And I don't want to leave, I'm just finding it easy to be a changeless machine. And you're patiently fighting to wake me from lying inside this aimless routine.

Lying on this plateau in my "I don't care" mode, it's so cozy. It's so cozy. Far away from the grey and those unanswered prayers that I don't see . . . cause I'm not asking. And I'm far from what I can't explain. Kinda far from your embrace. Maybe it's not good to stay

Ignoring you just to believe. Ignoring you so I can breathe. And I don't want to leave, I'm just finding it easy to be a changeless machine. And you're patiently fighting to wake me from lying inside this aimless routine.

If I wake from my sleep, will you show me your heart? If I give you the keys, will you lead me to park in your peace? Cause I don't want to be

Ignoring you just to believe. Ignoring you so I can breathe. And I don't want to leave, I'm just finding it easy to be a changeless machine. And you're patiently fighting to wake me from lying inside this aimless routine.
____________________________________________________________

I had a good friend share this song with me last week. Today, I happen to come across it again. As I sit here and relate to the lyrics I realize, I NEED TO MOVE. The past three months have been a challenge. There have been some amazing mountain top experiences and there have been some pretty dark valleys. But lately I have been "lying on this plaeatu in my "I don't care" mode." I feel numb, emotionless, and apathetic.

There are steps to take that are going to be painful--I just need to take them.

There are perspectives that will take work to change---I just need to start the process.

There are habits to be broken and habits that need to begin--I just need to do it.

There are people I need to let in--I just need to be real.

There are people's opinions that I need to stop letting define me--I just need to stand up.

There is fear, anxiousness, and insecurites---I just need to seek Him!!!

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful words, beautiful thoughts. Praying for you lady!

    ReplyDelete